A few years ago an independent research group did an historical study of the long-term impact (over several generations) of families with spiritual foundations and those without. I’d like to tell you the stories of two families:
In the 1800’s, a man named Max Dukes lived in New York. He and his wife did not believe it was important to have any type of spiritual focus as individuals nor with their children. From their marriage, 1026 descendants were traced and studied. Here are the results:
The Max Duke Family Legacy:
• 300 died prematurely
• 100 were sent to prison for an average of 13 years each
• 190 were known prostitutes
• 100 were drunks
• This family cost the state of New York $1,200.000
During the same century, there was another couple who were concerned about the spiritual foundation of their individual lives and that of their children. Their names were Jonathan and Sarah Edwards. 1,400 of their descendants were traced and studied and here are the results:
The Jonathan Edwards Family Legacy:
*13 college presidents*65 professors
*100 lawyers
*30 judges
*66 doctors
*80 holders of public office (including)
*3 senators
*3 governors
*1 Vice President of the United States
The key for our discussion again tonight is not “how” or “when” to have a family devotion. Remember, families are just as unique as individuals. The key for us, especially fathers is this: “look into the eyes of your sons and daughters and see what’s at stake, not just while they live under your roof, but as proven in the generational study we just looked at, what is at stake for eternity.”
But let’s face reality for a moment. There are a lot of reasons not to have family devotions.
-Time: it’s not convenient (I’ll guarantee it will never be convenient)
-You don’t want to look stupid in front of your kids-You don’t know of another family doing it (can I just remind you that our standard of the Christian experience is not always the Christian community but Christ Jesus Himself and the Word is pretty clear about training up a child in the way he should go)
-The kids are in church, Awanas and Sunday School every week, why would they need a family devotional? Friends, it is not the responsibility of the church to spiritually raise and educate our children…it is the responsibility of the parents. The church and our programs are here to encourage, supplement and assist…but Biblically, the responsibility to train our children spiritually, falls to us as parents. Remember, church is like a spiritual vitamin. It can be used as a supplement, not as the main diet…there is not enough in the vitamin alone to sustain healthy spiritual life over the long haul.
-Don’t know how. Honestly, something in the area of devotional life either personally or in a family setting is always better than nothing.
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There are also several reasons to have family devotions.
-It’s Biblical. Look at this passage of Scripture from The Message:
“Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into be at night…It will be a set-right and put-together life for us if we make sure that we do this entire commandment in the Presence of God, our God, just as He commanded us to do.
”Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when his is old he will not depart from it.
”Family devotions are relationship builders. Not only do we have the opportunity to get to know our children better through these intentional times of interaction, but they get to know things about us parents as well.
And a final reason to have a family adevotion is that organizations, agencies and even families begin to lean away from Biblical standards when those standards and principles are not intentionally guarded and fostered. Think of your own family for a moment…have your standards concerning television or at the movies stayed the same over the past five years, or have they relaxed some? Here’s the point, it is not easy to be intentional, it’s much easier to slip. The law of thermo dynamics really is true: things move from order to disorder…never the other way around. We must be intentional about the spiritual health of our families…their health will fail if we simply do nothing.
Here a few ideas from families who engage their children in spiritual training:
“Each night before bed we read a daily devotion geared toward younger children called “Blessings Every Day.” We then discuss what God wants us to learn from His Word that day and end the night in prayer.” The Phil Hooge Family
“We do our devotion time (which is not on a daily basis) out of a book entitled, “The Lamb,” by John R. Cross. After dinner, Scott will get the book and it tells of Biblical events in story form for the children to understand…complete with illustrations. At the end of each chapter, there are questions to ask the children. With an 8 year old, a 4 year old and a 1 year old it isn’t often that the heavens open up and the angels sing…but sometimes a great moment of learning occurs. Whether it is somewhat chaotic or incredibly spiritual, our children know that it is important because we are focusing on the Word of God.” The Scott Daniel Family
“We have read the Bible and prayed with our children each night before bed since they were very young. As they have grown, we have gone from using a story Bible, to reading a few verses each night, making our way through a book of the Bible. We might also read a verse sent home from Second Generation. This year, we’ve also started having “Family Fun Night” twice a month using Heritage Builders” from Focus on the Family. That book gives wonderful ideas for learning Biblical truths through readings and games. We also journal our family prayer requests and what we’ve learned about the Lord in our family times together. This has been a wonderful, but sometimes challenging way to see how our family can help each other grow spiritually.”The Mark Schriver Family
“Our family devotional time has changed as our children have grown. We remember doing “high-chair” devotions with Wade as cheerios took flight across the dining room. We graduated to “Jesus Wants All of Me,” a book of devotions based on Oswald Chambers classic, “My Utmost For His Highest.” One of our favorites is the “Day By Day” kids Bible. The boys race to get it each night as we pick up the story where we left off the previous night. Acting out Bible stories has also been fun and effective. Our current favorite has been reading “The Chronicles of Narnia” by C.S. Lewis. As our older son encounters challenges at school, we try to find related Bible verses that speak to his situation. And finally, Mom’s all-time favorite verse for the boys is… “How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!” Psalm 133:1 That verse is posted on our fridge and they are still learning that one!”The Tony Voris Family
“Our family has older children as well as little ones. So after the little ones were struggling to hold their attention, we decided to do devotions for our preschoolers and then our big kids. We’ve used a variety of materials and man formats. We’ve had the children take turns praying, we’ve had them repeat verses after us, we’ve read prayers. But always, always, always, our children have wanted more, and to go deeper than we would have thought them capable.”The John Howland Family
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Additional Ideas:
*A family devotion can be 5 minutes or an hour. The younger the children, the shorter the devotions need to be. Remember, it doesn’t have to be long to be effective.
*Use current events or family situations to start conversations and help the children see things through a Biblical world view.
*The format does not need to be “kids sit still while dad instills.
” Sometimes that is appropriate, but make room for everyone to be involved.
*Be sure to gear everything to their ages. A key to multiple-aged children is the power of the story. Stories captivate audiences of any age.
*Be real and honest with your children. You’d be surprised at how much spiritual truth they do know…and how they can help you!
*Play acting Bible lessons or even life lessons you are trying to teach can be very helpful…it can take an emotionally-charged behavioral situation and pull it into a non-threatening teaching moment.
*For it to truly be a “devotion,” be sure to steer the conversation or the application back to the Scripture or Biblical principles. This is not about… “did you do your homework.” *Prayer before, during and after is always a key. Children learn how to pray by hearing and seeing mom and dad pray.